If daddy won't I may die a virgin

I won't go into the list of things wrong with me but my doctors are shocked I have lived this long. I turn 14 in a week and I don't want to die a virgin.

Mom says if we pray real hard that god will save me, but I don't think there is a god, because how could he let me live this long knowing that the next time I end up in the hospital, I more then likely won't come out alive. I love my dad so much, and I can see the pain in his eyes when he looks at me, but I only want one more thing before what's going to happen, happens. I have known from my 9th birthday that I wouldn't live much longer, so yes I'm pissed that this is going to happen, but like dad says we live with the hand we were born with.

Mom is starting to get under my skin by not leaving me alone for more then a couple minutes, sure I know she thinks that if it happens at home, she will be able to pray and I would be ok again. Well not ok, but back to life. She wakes me up at times 2 or 3 times at night to make sure, as she says to see if I needed anything. What I need is a full night of sleep without her waking me up. I wish sometimes that mom would go away for a couple days, so I could feel somewhat normal.

I don't have any brothers or sisters and my aunt and uncles don't come around, so I don't know any of my cousins. I remember back when I guess I was maybe 5, my aunt and uncle was at our place and my cousin who is maybe 3 or so years older was calling me a gimp, and mom heard him and slapped him across his face. Hell I didn't care because he wasn't wrong, I mean I can only say a few words back then, and I can't walk or do much of anything. I have a computer and I can type with one finger, so I have some people on line I type too. But what my parents don't know is, I have been looking at porn on my computer which I found by typing in a wrong word. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, but what I was thinking, I mean really thinking about dad being my one and only as this site that shows older men with younger women and girls, maybe not at young as I am, but young. With my fingers I can control that is, I have been finding ways to get myself very excited when I touch myself just right.

I have been wrapping my arms around my dad when ever I can, and I even kiss his cheek, or tell him I love him which is very true. Dads the only man I want. On my birthday, as I sat on daddy's lap I said " Daddy I want you to love me." He looked at me saying " I couldn't love you anymore then I already do little one." That's what he calls me is little one. I feel like mom has been kind of pushing me away, and I don't know if it's because I won't go to her church or pray with her anymore, but she hardly even talks to me, which I don't mind at all.

It was 3 weeks after my 14th birthday that mom went to be with her sister for something I don't know and I don't care. but she will be gone for 3 to 4 days. The day mom left I said to daddy " Daddy I want you to love me, so I know how it feels before I go." He wrapped his arms around me and said " I can't love you anymore that I already do little one." I kissed him right next to his mouth before I said " Daddy there is a new kind of love you could give me with mom gone away, and it would be just between us." Daddy was looking like he didn't understand so I said " Daddy I don't want to die a virgin. I want to know what it's like to be a woman and not a little girl anymore, so please daddy will you give me this one wish?" " Do you know what you are asking me to do little one?" I nodded my head as I said " Yes daddy I do, and I want this more then anything."

He stood with me in his arms as he carried me to my bedroom. He placed me on my bed as he said " You know that no one can ever know that we did this. I mean if they find out I could end up in jail for years, if you tell anyone." I was trying to undress which isn't easy for me, but dad helped me and even thou I have been naked in front of him many times before, as he would give me a bath or help me go to the bathroom but this felt so very much different and exciting. Daddy took his shirt off before his pants then his underwear letting me see his penis for my first time, and I didn't see with his cock soft, how it could fit in me even like that. My finger hardly fits, and it's a lot smaller then his penis is.

He sat on the bed next to me as he said " Listen the first time I push in you it will hurt and for that I'm sorry, so if you don't want that I understand, because we don't have to do this." I looked at daddy's penis move on his leg like it had a mind of it's own, as I felt a thrill run through me I said " Oh daddy, I have been wanting this for over a year now, so please daddy." He laid me on my back as he kissed my mouth with his tongue touching my lips, before I opened my lips as his tongue played with mine. God I loved this so much as I felt more like a woman already. His hand went to my breast which was the size of one of his golf balls as he pinched on my nipple, which sent shocks going through me. When he lowered his head and took my nipple in his mouth, I thought if I die right now I would die happy.

He moved from one nipple to the other one then back again with my nipples standing up like I had never seen them do before, as he rubbed my yummy then lower until his hand went between my legs but not to wash me, but to touch me and I grasped as his finger went inside me just a tiny bit. My whole body was feeling things I had never felt before, until whatever he was doing with his fingers hurt. I groaned as daddy said " I think your going to feel a lot of pain little one, but I will be a gentle as I can be, if your still sure you want this that is?" All I said was " Please daddy, but can I suck on your penis first?"

He sat back before he said " How do you know about that, or any of this?" I pointed at my computer before saying " I seen videos of all kinds of things." He nodded before he moved down kissing my belly before he open my legs, as he lowered his head saying " You aren't like your mom who is very hairy down here, which makes doing this hard on me." His head went between my legs as he began licking me making me groan so much, as he pushed his tongue inside me before finding my spot which was like electric shocks going everywhere in my whole body, as I got more and more excited until the best feeling I had ever had went from where daddy was licking and sucking on me going everywhere, I didn't want it to stop ever.

Daddy lifted his head moving up my body until his now hard penis was in front of my face. I have to say the size of it up close scared me just a bit, but I licked the tip before I pushed my tongue inside the hole on the end, not going in very far before Daddy said " Open your mouth and suck me baby girl." I did as I had seen in those videos but I gagged every time I tried to take more then the tip in my mouth I gagged. Daddy said sweetly " Just relax baby girl and take only what you can. It feels fucking great what your doing." I had never heard my daddy swear before, but it sounded hot to me. I did the best I could with this salty bitter stuff getting on my tongue off and on, but it was from him so I liked it.

He said that if I didn't stop that he was going to cum, but I wanted him to take me in my virgin pussy, so I pulled off him saying " Is it time daddy?" He nodded getting between my legs rubbing himself up and down on me, as I tried to make my body push down so he would go inside, when he stopped at my opening giving a bit of a push making me feel like it was forcing me more open then I have ever been with daddy going in me, when he pushed again with pain like I have never felt before in my life went through me from my pussy as my whole body hurt so badly, I knew tears were running off the side of my face into my ears. Daddy stopped moving as he kissed my eyes, my nose, then my lips in such a tender way that he seemed to be kissing my pain away.

He asked if I was ok, to which I nodded even with the pain still there, but not as bad as it had been before. He began moving which give me more pain, but something else as well and it was so different from anything I have ever felt before. As he moved I didn't even notice that the pain was going away, as the feeling I was having, was just almost more then I could handle, as I began grasping for air as I wanted more with Daddy said " Holy shit your so tight that I may not last to long." I was having a hard time to even breath, as daddy groaned then pushed in even deeper hitting something inside me which was a new kind of pain, as I felt a warm feeling wash over my lower belly. Daddy was jerking inside of me, as more of that warm feeling filled me.

When he stopped jerking he opened his eyes looking down at me saying " Oh baby girl, I love you so, SO much. So was it what you wanted?" I said " Daddy I didn't want it to stop, can we do it again?" He laughed and said " Sorry baby girl, but I'm not a teenager anymore so give me a hour or two, then maybe we can." He pulled back leaving me feel so empty, as I felt something running down my ass. Daddy said " I will be right back." He came with a warn wet cloth wiping me as I seen just a small bits of blood on it. I though that when I die I'm going to miss this the most of all, just daddy and me together and doing this. I did wonder what would happen if I become pregnant, but I don't care as long as it's daddy's baby. That maybe hard to explain.