my dad and one of his friends

So i’m 25 want to fuck my dad. I’m a g cup, and I have a nice ass. First I feel I have to explain he’s not my blood father. But he raised me, he is my dad. Which I feel actually helps me have a better chance. Any ways. He’s a drinker and there were some times he would hug me and his hands would be on just above my hips and sway. He’s tried to kiss me on the neck before and he got me on the ground on all fours with an arch but I wiggled my way out. all these times he was drunk. I never really blamed him cause he’s been lonely but now I actually want to go through with it. I’m creaming thinking about it with my stomach in knots. Best part is he can fill me up as much as he wants cause he’s had a vasectomy. I also wanna fuck one of his friends. Hes touched me before when I was 14-15. I was asleep in my room and everyone in the house was asleep or not there. Anyways, im usually a heavy sleeper but luckily this night I wasn’t. He opened my door and my head popped up and he said “can you please give me a massage for 10 minutes I can’t sleep on the couch cause it hurts” I said of course and didn’t really think much of it, I slid out of bed in a t shirt, no bra and short shorts with no panties and let him lay on his stomach in my full sized bed but close to the edge, arms on his side. I put one of my legs up on the bed between him and his arm and the other on the floor standing, I didn’t even realize his hand was positioned perfectly between my legs, then I felt his hand start to move up my my inner thigh and all I could think was “yes pleeeease” I felt his fingers brush the outside of my pussy (I was shaking and getting so wet) but then he stopped, I guess he got scared or something and then there was this other instance. Somehow I ended up in his truck alone with him and we were taking shots, this time I was 18. And he was asking if I had any 18 yr old friends he could fuck and I didn’t and he was like “well you’re 18, never mind. Hit me up when I’m 40 I’ll be looking for someone to take care of then” god I was shaking I wanted him so bad and still do. There was one more instance when I was 16 he came into my room and was obviously drunk and said “imma be the first one to fuck you when you turn 18” that unfortunately never happened but I want my dad and his friend so bad. I fucked one of his other friends already, he essentially watched me grow up. I was 16 and climbed on the counter for something and was getting back down, I knew he watched and I heard him say “god if you weren’t my best friends daughter…” I came to that so many times till I got the bright idea to get his attention I told my dad I’d be going over there to clean for his friend for extra cash, but the whole time he was eating me out, fucking me and making me CREEEEEEEAM if I could fuck him again I would but I can’t so I want to move further! Help!!!