A History of Abuse

How i got addicted to sexting random men

It all started when I was 14ish I began trying to sext girls onlone that I would find online (Reddit, random sites, etc.). I loved showing my body to older women. One time i found a couple, probably in their 30s, that would have me show them videos of my jerking off. I would send full body shots of myself, i figured no one would save the pics since i was 14. They started asked to see my ass. I showed them, and they said that I was exactly what they were looking for and asked if i would video call. We called and they gave me orders yo follow. Jerk your cock, show your face, stick out your tongue, slap your ass. Now i had never thought of guys in a sexual manner but I fell in love with taking instructions. They ended up asking if i would want to live with them, but i got scared and hung up.

Cycles like this continued for a while. I would add some older women and send them whatever they wanted. However, one night I got blavkmailed. The woman said that if i didnt get my parents credit card they would send my pictures to everyone they knew. I dont know why but this made me excited. I knew they couldnt because i was underage, so i just removed them.

I went on to post my snapchat on sites for sexting. I thought i would get girls but it was all guys. However, i still wanted to show my body to someone. So i would send my body to these guys and read what they replied. I got some dick pics but never really enjoyed it.

At somepoint someone asked me to send a video of me fingering my ass. I had never tried it but i loved following instructions. So i did it. After about the 5th time started to enjoy it.

This escalated to me creating grinder accounts just so i could show off my body to people that wanted to see and follow their instructions. I would go sexting cams and post myself on reddit. Anything to show off my body and get instructions.

I started enjoying fucking my ass. I went from my fingers, to a broom handle, and eventually ordered a 10" dildo online. I would post my dildo and my ass and tell people to order me around. I woukd send videos of me riding my dildo and fucking myself with my legs in the air.

One time a man asked me to show myself riding my dildo in doggy. I ended cumming without touching my dick for the first time ever. This went on for a while.

Fast forward to my freshman year of college. i was a total stoner. I shared a dorm with one other guy. He was an athlete so he was always out. I basically had the room to myself. I loved to get as high as possible and jerkoff for hours.

One night i was extremely high and started to touch myself. I was blarring porn as usual and started to listen to sissy hypno. I was so into it that i forgot that my blinds were not drawn. For context, our room was on the inside corner of the building and the window took up about half the wall. While i was fingering my ass with my legs in the air I looked back and saw the curtains parted in the window of the room adjacent to ours. I scrambled under the covers and hid. But my secret was out, someone on my floor knew I was fingering my ass.

Shortly after that I left the school. I realized i needed to stop doing things like this. I've stopped doing things like that, but i still find myself drawn to sissy hypno every once in a while.

I still wonder if there are any videos of me on some old pervs phones.