I love my dog
This is the real story of a true Zoophilie. I never had sex with him, and this may not be the site for it, but I want to share my love as well as anguish.
Let me tell you a true story of zoophilia, mine. It will be a bit rambling, I apologize for that.
When I was in college I was studying to become an electrical engineer. As you imagine, this is difficult coursework and I was under constant pressure to learn and comprehend. My neighbor next door had this beautiful dog and if she (the dog) was out on the patio I could pet her. My neighbor was from the Eastern block of what was then the breakup of the USSR. If that dog was out, no matter how bad my day had been, no matter how horrible it was, she would make it better. Because her English was so bad, I didn't even know the dog had a specific breed, but she was a lovely dog.
I am not going to tell you what sort of dog it was, I'm seriously terrified of people hurting them but I eventually discovered what breed it was. When I got out of college and settled into a relatively normal life in Silicon Valley (are any of us really normal?) I started to do dog rescue for them. They are lovely dogs. I never had sex with any, I'm a zoophile in the Victorian sense, I just love them. Zoophile was not always "a dirty word". I love to cause pleasure and there are many ways to do this beyond just sex.
I got a foster who was neglected for years, abandoned by his family given to another, he lived alone in a garage for god knows how long. Finally the family decided to get rid of him, and I was his foster. There are standard things you do when you foster, the first thing is to comb them out and bathe them. He was filthy. I was tearing out stinking dead hair with a dog rake, filled with flea speck and dead fleas. He was greasy which is very unusual for this sort of dog. He leaned into me which shocked me. What I was doing could NOT have been pleasurable at all, but I was the first person to give him any attention in years. That made me tear up when I realized this.
He leaned into me, despite me ripping hair out, because I was the first person to give him ANY attention in months, maybe years. You try to keep an emotional distance when you foster, but that broke me down quick. Poor little one.
I finished ripping out dead hair and gave him a bath, and I had a happy playful dog. First time he probably ever had a bath. He didn't enjoy the bath a bit, but once out, he was jumpy and playful. Probably the first time in his life he felt that way, clean. It took two more days to fully groom him, and when I was done, he felt just like a teddy bear. His fur was extremely fine.
He liked to sleep with me. He really felt like a teddy bear, and he would often overheat, but him snoring on my right arm, as I cuddled him was bliss. Generally he would only pass out for maybe 20 minutes snoring as I just enjoyed it, then he would get too hot. I had a teddy bear as a kid, but it's no comparison.
The point of foster is to correct and help, NOT to adopt. It's considered "a failure" (or that's what it's called foster failure) when you cannot give them up. He had many emotional problems. He was terrified of being abandoned, horrific separation anxiety. I learned to fix that. That's a discussion on its own.
I got extremely attached to him without knowing it. One day a family came to see him to check him out for adoption. They walked him for an hour, the family was happy with him, but the father made a mistake "are you sure you want to adopt him out?".
No.
I had him for 6 months by then. I had completely wasted their time, dragged them out from over 60 miles away, only to realize I did not want to, could not, give him up. I felt very badly, but it was the best decision I ever made. He was the most wonderful dog I ever had, and I had over 2 dozen.
I continued to do dog rescue for another decade. He was the best, I had abused dogs, neglected dogs, violent ones at times - he could always approach them and feel them out. If one of my dogs was violent, he would back away, calm them down. I swear he fixed more dogs than I ever could have. He was a wonderful partner in doing this.
At 9 he was diagnosed with liver cancer and I was devestated. I adopted him at 2, had over a dozen fosters with him during that time. I went home after the diagnosis and held him in my lap and cried. 6 months to live was the prognosis, so I started to find out how to give him a good last few months - 9 seemed far too young to die, even 10. I looked up how to cook for him. I figured I could at least give him a good sendoff. Chicken, quinoa (it's like rice but more protein) and cottage cheese.
I don't know if that's the reason, but he lived another 7 years. His liver cancer was benign, it was still killing him, but it wasn't growing into other organsor spreading. I'm not very religious being an engineer, but I thanked god for that, if there is one.
Do you know how many neurons are in the human brain? We estimate 85 billion. This was TRIVIAL to simulate in a mesh 15 years ago, but we cannot make a consciousness. I am starting to doubt my atheism. What you see as "AI" is not a consciousness, it's just a language model, basically a really good search engine.
I know evolutionary psychology, and game theory (which evolutionary psychology is based on), and geopolitics. I am doubting this is entirely a "materialistic world", that we are just meat robots. It's apocryphal but Weiner Heisenburg SUPPOSEDLY (probably is false), said that "The first gulp from the glass of natural sciences will turn you into an atheist, but at the bottom of the glass God is waiting for you."
His family doesn't believe he said that, but whoever said it, I think may be correct. I have drank deeply from that glass.
If we have souls, my dog had a better one than I do, any of you do. He would groan when I cuddled him. He often slept on my back, rear legs on either side of my waist, front paws on either side of my neck, muzzle resting against my cheek. He was heavy, I would wake up with chest pains with him still on top of me, but what a wonderful sleep.
I have told portions of my experience before, if you find me, I will deny it. He's been dead for 11 years. Eventually the cancer did get to him. He had what is called ascites, this is a build up of fluid in the liver, all our organs are basically in a sack, and this fluid would build up. I had it drained twice. $700 each time until my vet refused to do it anymore.
It was then I had to give him up, worst thing I ever did, but also most merciful. A "natural death" would have been agony. I still hate myself for doing it.
I still like dogs very much, especially the breed, but I went through a lot of dogs and I never saw a soul like his. When I put him down, I just didn't show up for work for two days. I was a contractor so nobody noticed. I had never experienced anguish before. I didn't charge for the time, I'm quite honest.
When he died, a part of my soul was buried with him. I couldn't do dog rescue anymore, I was afraid to ever get that attached again. It's been 11 years, but and I still hurt, but I don't mind so much. He brought out my true humanity. When I got him at 30, 15 years seemed like a long time. It's been 25 years now.
I know this site is dedicated to sex stories, but here is a real story. I am honestly pouring out my heart. I know the "conventional zoophiles" DO exist, meet an unconventional one. I adored that dog with every bit of my soul. If dogs don't have a soul but humans do, I freely give mine up to him.
You might think "oh, it was just a dog", I did foster for a decade. He was so helpful, so caring to all my fosters. If anybody I know deserves an afterlife, it is him. He may have just been a dog, but he really was the best thing that every happened to me, and I miss him very much.
This is what it's really like to be a zoophile. I thought I LIKED dogs, but I totally fell in love with him. Wasn't sexual, just such a great soul.
I've met a few people like me. They say one and done. You experience this ONCE and you're lucky to experience it. The reason I miss him so much, is I loved him so much.
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Comments (8)
Rustyas1: Thanks for sharing. Yes I am a horny fucker and I do enjoy reading about dogs fucking people. Not so much people fucking dogs. Every now and then it is good to read a story that makes you think ... everything is not about fucking and masturbation. I had a dog I loved. Did I think about fucking him? No. I did think about him fucking me? Yes, because I thought that was a way to show my ultimate love. Unfortunately I never got the chance to truly show my dog how much I loved him. Again thanks for sharing.
Reply↴ • uid:gnsaxtem4IMissMyMyDog: I'm telling you directly that the best experience is just love. My dog was about 50 pounds, that's about 22 kilograms. When he was particularly affectionate, and I was laying on my belly in bed he would lie down on top of me. He was very cautious about it and I was always like "go ahead". Rear legs on either side of my waist, and front paws on either side of my neck, and he would rest his muzzle against my face. Usually my left side, but he would change position at times. He was NOT light, and I still had to breathe but I had a warm cuddly dog on top of me. It was adorable. I would wake up in the morning with chest pains from the effort of breathing. He would stay on top of me all night when it was sufficiently cold out. Best. Sleep. Ever. I adored that dog. I loved his affection. He was terribly neglected before I got him, took months to fix his psychology, first dog I I couldn't give up, and I did in in a total asshole way. Only regret I have was I was an asshole about keeping him. I really did waste a family's time before I realized I didn't want to give him up. I bet they were pissed, and they should have been, but I was way superior as an owner. I feel badly for wasting their time, but I gave that dog the best imaginable life, better than they could have. I have zero doubt that I was the best possible owner for him, and I adored him. I know he adored me. Some people have 100's of dogs in rescue. I had a few I regretted giving up, some I sorely regretted. I don't know how they can do it. Eventually you meet a soul that you just connect with. I have had two. Now I don't have a soul anymore. I can never do it again. It's far too painful. I am a zoophile. I never had sex with him. I'm warning you, if you really love them, and you ought to, it's going rip a portion of your soul out when they die. It's been 11 years, I'm in pain still, but it was absolutely worth it. My best memories I have are simply of affection.
• uid:nh7lvk98IMissMyMyDog: There is a 3 out of 11 votes as I write this. This is disappointing. I know most of you are horny, but I actually experienced a transcendent love. I miss him dearly. I'm not gay or anything like that that, I just found a soul far superior to mine. I hoped to share that. I don't regret doing it at all. If you are a true zoophile and you work with animals, you run into this. I have really run into people like me. I had a wonderful companion for 14 years, but his death was devastating to me. I have met one person in even worse distress than me. The rating here depresses me. Can't any of you experience true love? I've had many dogs, a few I regretted giving up, but he was without doubt the best living thing in my life. He had many problems, I worked them all out. When I was forced to put him down, it killed a part of me too. I guess some zoophiles, if they actually "love" them just fuck them. I have seen the results of real violence, I fixed it, regained trust. I hate violence. It takes a minute to mess an animal or a person up, takes months to fix it. I am the real deal. If I were to meet your animal, or anybody in you life, I would be as kind and gentle as I can be. My kindness is not restricted to a single species, I will even be nice to you disgusting human beings. I have to consider if I just hate human beings. Too many of you are cruel. I do not understand people's cruelty.
Reply↴ • uid:nh7lvk98Claudia: I don't know why this is rated so low. On readbeast, it has a 4.2 out of 5 stars. I really like your story!
• uid:19g5t3wj56p2IMissMyDog: To Claudia: I expect people expect to masturbate to most of the things they see here. This is why this "story" isn't likely too popular. I never had sex with any animal, but damned if I didn't love them. I went through a certain amount of abuse as a child. I will never, ever, put any living thing through what I went through and I saw a lot worse in rescue. I really do not understand cruelty. I'm repelled by it. Have no idea what "readbeast" is - checked a few search engines, couldn't find it. Glad to know many people feel similarly, that I'm not alone. I know there are other people like me, but they are rare to find and it's not like I can open up to them. I don't think they were so rare in my rescue group(s). I volunteered for 4. We would sometimes have meetups, if one of the members had their dog die, and they wouldn't show up, or they were visibly in pain. Some people I think do foster just to get the accolades, everything thinks "how wonderful a person you are", they don't realize for some people, it really feels like you have to intervene. I had to quit rescue when mine died. He made it to his early 16th birthday. Now I'm starting to see people I know die. I used to want immortality at 30, what a hell that would be though to me now. To see everybody and everything I know die. It would be absolutely torture. If we have a god, I cannot believe its evil and would torture anything for eternity. If we don't, I'm fine with oblivion.
• uid:7csmu42Claudia: to IMissMyDog: I understand how you feel. This site mainly features sex and porn stories. Readbeast is similar, but perhaps its audience is more well-read because your story is rated higher there. Depending on where you live, Google may censor relevant results. This is the case in the UK and Germany, for example. Try en(dot)readbeast(dot)blog.
• uid:19g5t3wj56p2The Real Carol: I loved our Lucky’ more than anything.
Reply↴ • uid:xjpvzao8bdfIMissMyDog: The first dog I fostered was named "Lucky". She was a Border Collie or possibly a mix and my first foster dog I ever had. I was stupid and young and didn't know what I had. I should have adopted her probably. She was black with a bit of white on her chest. I think, it's been like 25 years. Weird name to have a female named Lucky. She was the only dog that would consistently sleep with me through the night and wake up with me in the morning still in my arms. It's pretty damned awesome to go to bed cuddling a dog, and finally passing out, and waking up with them still being held. Being a zoophile isn't all about sex, in fact I bet it's pretty rare. Every dog I had, I loved in some way, some more than others. She was sweet, but she hated car rides. ONLY dog I ever had that hated to be in a car. I understand why people don't want to live forever now. I had more than two dozen dogs in rescue, all are dead by now. Now people I know are dropping dead and I'm not that old. I never escape pain, it just builds up. If you are like me, I know the pain but it was worth it. I really enjoyed loving my dogs. The one I loved the most, hurts the most. If I make it to 80, I will still be missing the dog I adopted when I was 30. 1/2 way there.. With regard to what I truly am, I would CERTAINLY have fucked a dog. I was going to get a malamute at one point, but I'm supposedly smart, and I did research. They don't live long enough and I remember how badly I felt when my dog was diagnosed to die at 9. It was plenty good enough just to have a teddy bear to sleep with, a happy playful teddy bear. I do sometimes wonder what made me into me. Well. Take care. I wanted to communicate with somebody like me again. Thank you for just the sentence. It's not like I can talk to my old foster group about this. I bet some of them are just like me, but some of them would be appalled.
• uid:nh7lvk98