The day that my grandpa perverted me forever

I was 19 when it happened. Since then, it’s all I can masturbate to. This is a real story, it takes place in a cute neighborhood in a good town.

When I was a kid, I moved down the street from my grandparents. At the time, my cousins lived with my grandparents and we had a lot of children in our neighborhood. We had a lot of fun as kids! There were weird times with my family too though, but I’m going to skip all of that and tell you all about what happened to me one October a few months after my 19th birthday that changed my life forever.

It was no secret we went through some weird stuff when we were kids growing up in my family, although it was a taboo. My own grandmother didn’t protect us. I’m choosing to tell this story now that my grandfather has passed, and it has been almost 11 years. Happy birthday to me.

I won’t lie, all my life, I’ve hated wearing clothes. I always wanted to be nude and it wasn’t anything sexual, but it would get me looked at and preyed upon constantly, I was also very naive about the way men think of women and their primal urges to do what they do to us. There’s a part of me that’s also primal that really enjoys being dominated. Maybe I gave off the vibe that I was like this. I just didn’t think it would make my grandfather do what he did.

My grandfather has his favorite chair in the living room that constantly haunt my fantasies. It’s what he’s sitting on when I think of my grandfather vibing my clit with my grandmas toothbrush. It’s there at that spot that he molested me in real life that day. It changed my life forever and as a woman, I fantasized, as a victim of sexual assault, I fantasize about my childhood and what my family did to me, I take it up several notches. I almost wish that when my grandfather first put his hands on me when I was 19, that I let him do more. I almost wish I could have felt what my grandfather really wanted. Like just the tip while I’m sitting over him on the chair while he vibes my clit. It makes me feel like such a pervert that this is how I’ve been coping.

I fantasize about him getting me to sit on his lap in his chair. Im wearing my black booty shorts with a tank top, I have always had huge tits and I’m a chubbier girl(pawg is what people call me lol) and he spreads my legs apart over the arms of the chair and then sliding the middle part exposing my slit and him taking an electrical toothbrush or hitachi wand to my clit. I always fantasize it’s the first time every time, and I’m learning about sex and how good my grandpa would treat me to be his special grand daughter sex toy. I fantasize that he’s forcing me to enjoy getting my clit vibrated while I scream at him that it’s wrong.
I fantasize that he slides it in me when I’m still a virgin and I fantasize about him discovering I’m not a virgin so he fucks me hard and makes my clit cum to punish me.

There’s more to all of this. I used to write on this site before it changed going into other details. I’m in therapy and I’m trying to heal and control my own sexual urges, but I goon several times a day and fantasize about being tied and raped yet, I choose to never have a male partner ever again. My grandpa ruined my love life. I come on here to read stories about rape and it’s actually really healing for me to know I’m not the only woman who goes through incest and being raped

If people want to hear more, I’d love to talk about it, I’ve been sexually assaulted by men throughout my 20s, it’s like men can smell a broken woman. I hate that I find rape hot, I never find it hot when it happens real time, though.