Transgirl, then I let someone have sex with me

I knew I made a mistake half way through the ordeal. I was 19 born a boy but started transitioning at 17 with permission of my mother. Started hormones, I was always small bodied, very petite especially for a boy. 5ft. 8in tall, only 138 lbs. After dieting, hormones learning make up, long hair I had a nice curve at the waist, nice hips, and nice bottom. My front went from only 4 inches to 3 on the very rare occasions it got hard anymore. It did sometimes but I had to really work at it. When it did get fully erect it was about the size of my thumb. Soft I could easily tuck it, push up my testes into my body cavity and with my bushy hair down there, I was totally passable as a girl with A cup boobs, no implants. I easily went swimming in the summer with a small bikini, I got plenty of attention from boys. In the meantime in a support group I met Delia. I introduced my self using my girl name, Tammy. Delia was 22 and experienced and was a great help along the road to transition. She didn't like the risks of lower surgery though she did have hormones as well as implants in her breasts leaving her with a very attractive B cup.

Through Delia, I met her boyfriend, and after a few weeks he brought over a friend of his, Jim. Jim was handsome, physically an adonis, firm and toned. I went on a double date with him and Delia and her BF. After a couple of those dates Jim and i went out alone. After dates he was kissing me, making out in his car, then at his apartment. he was 22 and had his own place with a great job. I let him feel my boobs while kissing, then he wanted to suck on my boobs and I let him. He pulled out his cock which surprised me at 8 inches and at least 2 inches thick. I was quite scared. I was a total virgin, never any kind of sex. I was always leary of going out with any boys afraid they'd hit me when they found out what i was. Jim knew already, so I let him push my head down to his cock and I kissed it, even licked it up and down. Then looking at him asked if it was OK if I just used my hand. "Why" he asked "I've never done anything before, with anyone" I answered. He asked what I meant and I told him I'd never been in any situation with anyone to have sex, I was a virgin. "Sure, use your hand but when I tell you, put just the head in your mouth and catch my cum in your mouth ok?". He was so sweet I agreed. Shortly I had a mouthful of sperm and he told me to swallow it. I did reluctantly and didn't really like it but I knew girls did that so I didn't say anything. He kissed me deep again, reaching under my skirt and rubbing my crotch. "Don't you know have to" I told him. Then he moved his hand down further to my bottom. With the taste of his sperm in my mouth I was getting finger fucked in my butt.

Soon that was the norm, which after a few times turned into him showing me what to do to give him blowjobs. I liked sucking cock but didn't like the sperm taste. But I put up with it as i knew it was expected. Delias advice was to just swallow as soon as you could and all at once if possible. I confessed to Delia that I was a virgin, and she was quite surprised. Jim finally laid it down. He had to have a girlfriend that had sex, full sex not just oral. I thought about it, and talked it over with Delia, she told me that she liked getting fucked, even had dry orgasms, sometimes wet ones, and even fucked her boyfriend in his butt sometimes.

The night was coming. I bought sexy undies, basque that cupped under my little boobs with garters, stockings, high heels, and a sheer nightie that tied at the breasts and came off easily. I put on see through panties, tucked myself in, trimmed my hair down there, and as my mom had told me early on, put the panties on over the garter and stockings so the man can take them off and I still looked sexy for him. Well it worked, he wanted a BJ first to make him last longer. I obliged, dutifully swalllowing it all with a smile for him. Then it was time. He got erect again, rubbing my hole with vaseline, and what I expected would be missionary sex, face to face, he rolled me over on my belly and got on top of me. No hesitation he slowly (thankfully) penetrated me. He'd been pushing three fingers in me for weeks now so it wasn't so painful just awkward and uncomfortable. I tried to reach my head up and around to kiss him but he moved his to the other side and just kept fucking. Then he speeded up, and rammed into me. He told me he was cumming, telling how much he liked me and loved that I let him be my first. He kept talking about popping a virgin in her pooper even called it a "shithole" during his fucking. Then he pulled out as he rolled over. I had to get up to the bathroom immediately. While in there he told me to get a warm wash cloth and come out and wipe him off.

The second time, I told him I wanted to try it face to face and he did. Again, talking dirty and pumping harder and faster he shot off in me again. At the end, I was still awake as she went to sleep. I thought this can't be all there is. Just a guy sticking his hard and thick cock into you and shooting off, talking dirty no kissing no loving. It didn't get any better the next day or the next week. Then talking to Delia and breaking down into tears I realized. I didn't want to get fucked, I didn't want to suck cock, I guess I didn't want to be a girl.

I can't say I turned around right then, I did let two other guys fuck me several times each. I went to the docs with my mom in tow and asked about getting off hormones. It took a while, with some replacement male hormones. My breasts are done, but still kinda loose skin a bit there, my waist filled out and my body hair never really came in, I didn't want it. My cock got to be 5 inches and a bit thicker. After a year I actually dated a woman. She was really great, and she loved how loving I was during sex, not just what she called "the pound". I didn't pound her, I made love to her. I made love to others as well, then that first girl Debbie got pregnant.

I married her, and we have a baby girl. I made the full round, Debbie saw family photos and I told her about my transition to a transgirl. She asked explicitly about sex and eventually I told her about it all. She, to my surprise got extremely horny and excited, which was followed up by my fucking her anally.
I can't say I'm sorry I transitioned but I am glad I was able to return.