I want my pussy back... and then do this

A follow up of the previous story. I figured I would write a detailed post about the kind of fantasies I have.

As mentioned before I'm ftm, currently the only thing between my legs is a clit, no hole, no dick.

I want to have a wet pussy between my legs again, take pictures of my naked body and send them to horny strangers in random chat rooms. Maybe even make an account somewhere to post them.

I want to find a glory hole and get fucked raw and unprotected, hook up with random people at the club. I want men to fuck my pussy hard and fast, especially the transphobic ones, I want their hateful cocks pounding me.

I'd dress up like a girl, walk down the street at night along the clubs and bars with a short skirt and no underwear, hoping that someone grabs me and rapes me in an alleyway. Random strangers watching and filming, exposing me.

I want to be stupid and trust the strangers I've never met that promise to rape me and make me their sex slave, meet up with them and get locked up and beaten until I accept my new reality. I hope they sell my body, gangrape me, tie me up in a secluded area somewhere and post that there's a free pussy to fuck.

I want men to destroy me and fuck me, make me remember I'm nothing but a stupid wet cunt to be fucked by thick hard cocks. I need to get every last bit of sense fucked out of me, drug me until my mind breaks and I'm nothing. Make me feel it inside me every day, every hour until not getting my wet pussy stuffed is the most cruel punishment I could ever imagine.

I want this all so bad... if someone kidnapped me and drugged me up and just cut along the scars themselves and forced my hole open, or get some shady doc to do it and then fucked me immediately I'd be ok with that. I want to never wait up from that reality, just fully break me and use my cunt forever.

If for some reason people want more I might post again, I don't know if this helps me obsess less, but it's turning me on a lot. I've been rubbing my clit the entire time imagining all these things and thinking of the comments I might get. <3